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It seemed to happen every single time. The same story. Jonas found the right girl, but the wrong things always happened. Like that one time a couple months ago when he staked out that girl’s house when he thought she was trying to avoid him. Or that other time when he forgot to call that girl on her birthday. Or when he ran into his ex-girlfriend at the park and tried to lie about it.
But it wasn’t always his fault. Sometimes he got so close, but the situation just couldn’t handle things. He would find these great girls, but they all seemed to want something else. Story of his life.
So there he is, the back of Sean’s car, hurtling down Nabrubus Boulevard doing at least twice the speed limit (probably slower than normal on account of the extra weight in the car), towards some party that Jonas didn’t even want to go to. It was horrible. Everything he saw reminded him of her.
The car passed by the convenience store where they had bought those ices and then that bench in front of the fire house where they were making out for what felt like hours until the fire-fighters chased them away. Not to mention the car itself. Jonas had spent a good amount of time with her, crammed into the backseat, enjoying every squashed minute of it.
But now he was crammed in the back of the car with a bunch of people he didn’t even know or care about going somewhere he didn’t want to, to do stuff he didn’t even like. Needless to say, it wasn’t the best moment.
Parties were Sean’s specialty. Though Jonas thought the whole party scene a bit extraneous- Sean himself is like a walking party. Everywhere he went, people seemed to have a great time. He was always entertaining some gaggle of girls somewhere.
Jessy seemed oblivious to the whole thing. She was like some sort of seraphim, floating above the scene that Sean so immersed himself into. No matter what the situation, she managed to maintain her cool without looking like a nerd. She never drank, never smoke and never randomly hooked up. She barely tolerated Sean’s antics, but since she was his sister and had lived with him for so long, she had become adept at being able to transcend his mania and establish herself as someone independent of him- with the exception of rides: Sean had the car, and therefore he was the navigator. This role didn’t suit him well, but it was his nonetheless.
“RED LIGHT SEAN!” Josh screamed from the backseat, in-between two other football players.
“I see it,” Sean said smoothly, cutting off the car in the lane next to them and pulling up gracefully to the paint in front of the light. The man driving the car he had just cut off was waving his hands menacingly at Sean. Sean adjusted his side mirror and peered at the guy, simply waved at him and continued talking.
“Next time, I’ll drive,” Sean said chucking an oversized pair of fuzzy dice at Josh and gunning the engine moments before the light turned green.
It felt like another three months before they bridged the couple blocks and arrived at the party. Sean leapt out of the car first, immediately locking the doors, trapping Jonas and what felt like the entire football team in the backseat. As the guys were wrestling with each other to find the unlock switch, crushing Jonas, Sean tilted his elbow out, Jessy took it and he escorted her up to the house.
By the time Jonas had managed to squeeze his way out of the car, he had lost sight of Jessy. He stuffed his hands into his pockets and made his way up to the house, kicking some spare pebbles on the walk up.
The house was a modest three floors. Porch in front, balcony on top, screen door, the whole bit. A bunch of people were hanging out on the porch drinking. Guys and girls mixing casually. There were even a few couples making out in the swing. The idea of guys keeping space in between one another completely vanished at these parties. Get enough liquor into them and that whole homophobia thing just vanishes.
Before walking up the steps, Jonas turned to look out onto the bay. It seemed like just yesterday he and Savannah were walking up and down the runners trail, holding hands and lightly chatting in the summer breeze.
Now the cold wind off the water made Jonas want to raise the collar on his shirt and go inside. The bleak clouds hanging over the bay made the idea of any walk seem ridiculous. This just made him feel worse as he walked inside the house.
Sean had wasted no time of course. He had managed to find the best looking girls at the party and had a cup of beer in each hand with his arms around both of them in the midst of telling another crazy story.
“And that’s when I walked into the classroom only to find Michael trying to jump out the window. So I told him- Hey Jonas! I’m telling that joke you love!” Sean noticed Jonas trying to slink by. Standard procedure. Jonas would get involved in one of these jokes, end up embarrassing himself and have the whole rest of his night ruined. Or worse, he would end up making out with some girl he didn’t even know and didn’t want to get involved with.
“Uh, I think they want me in the kitchen, Sean.” Jonas said shortly before retreating towards the nearest door.
“Kitchen’s that way champ. You’re about to help me tell this story to…” Sean said, grabbing him and facing him towards the two girls whose names he obviously didn’t know.
“Melinda and Gina!” Sean yelled triumphantly taking a sip from both cups at the same time.
“Jessica and Stacey” one of them corrected. They didn’t seem to mind this slip up though.
“Whatever. So like I was saying: Michael was trying to jump out the window. Naturally this couldn’t work since all the windows have that lock on them for just such an occasion. But poor Michael didn’t realize it yet. So I walk over to him, close the window and slap him around a bit. When he gets control of himself, he walks out of the room, but he left the note on the ground.”
This sounded like one of Sean’s rambling jokes that went nowhere. Everyone laughed, no one knew why.
“What did the note say?” One of the girls asked, looking quite interested in this answer.
“Why it said-“ Sean leaned into her ear, whispered something, then took a small sip from his cup, waiting for the reaction.
“OH MY GOD!” She screamed, before bursting out laughing. Everyone started to laugh too.
“What did it say?” someone asked from behind him.
“It said…” Sean started, before grabbing the three objects nearest to him: some girl’s bag, someone’s beer bottle, and a remote control, and started to juggle them over his head.
The whole room burst into applause, forgetting about the punch line, and Jonas managed to squeeze out into the next room (which turned out to be the dining room) before Sean tried to “include” him in his next joke.
The dining room was packed with people playing beer pong. Jonas moved through the crowd easily and tried to find a quiet place to sit and think. He didn’t even want to be there, but Sean had a way of convincing him every time. The next room was the kitchen where Jessy was sitting on the counter top, telling a story to some of her girl friends. It was amazing. She managed to stay sober and happy in the midst of this drunk fest.
“Jonas! Hey!” She called, waving to him to come over.
“Hi” Jonas said simply, hands still in his pockets.
“Jonas, this is Rachel.” Jessy said casually, introducing him to one of her friends. He recognized her from one of his many visits to Marks.
“I know you- you go out with Savannah!” She said, happily, her hand outstretched.
Jonas went a bit pale before nodding his head and turning the other way. He knew it would happen. He was still considered Savannah’s boyfriend even after they had broken up. He wished he could wear a shirt that said “We broke up and I don’t wanna talk about it”
He was nearly out the door back into the dining room when Jessy grabbed his shoulder and spun him around. She came very close to his face and talked very softly to him- practically whispering.
“I know this is really hard for you, but you’re going to have to deal with it. Rachel is a great girl and I think you guys would be a good match”
Jonas found it very difficult to argue with someone so beautiful so close to him, so he complied and walked back to the counter where Rachel and some of her friends were chatting.
“He’s just a bit shy” Jessy said smiling, pushing him back into Rachel.
“So, how do you know Jessy?” Rachel asked, trying to cover up her previous statement.
Before Jonas could open his mouth, Sean burst through the kitchen door, walking backwards with his hand over his eyes, screaming “Marco” at the top of his lungs. Some guys were walking near him, just out of arm’s reach yelling “Polo” back at him equally loud.
Jonas just raised his eyebrows and glanced towards Sean, who had bumped into some girls sitting at the table.
“Terribly sorry sir” Sean said, in a very slurred British accent, his eyes still covered, shortly before continuing the game.
Jessy rolled her eyes and grabbed a banana from a fruit bowl and chucked it at Sean. It hit his head and bounced into his hands. With his eyes closed, still walking backwards, he began to eat the banana and yell “Marco” at the top of his lungs with bits of the fruit flying everywhere.
Jessy sighed and walked out of the room. Rachel and her friends left too. Jonas was about to leave for another room, avoiding both the Brothers’ when Jessy popped her head back through the door and winked at Jonas.
Jonas followed her back through the dining room where Sean’s trail of destruction was readily visible: The table had been shoved back into the wall and beer was dripping off all the edges onto the ground.
The girls and Jonas found some spots on the couch in the living room where Sean had been telling the joke before. Jonas was sitting next to, rather, nearly on top of, Rachel. This made small talk difficult, but other things seem much easier. Rachel looked like she had had something to drink- smelled like it too- and was inching a little too close for Jonas’ comfort.
He made some lame excuse about needing to get some fresh air before darting up, vacating the couch and living room, and punching through the screen door back onto the deck.
The clouds that were hanging over the bay had moved onto City Park like an advancing army. The rain began shortly after Jonas stepped outside. It started lightly and became steadier after a few minutes. He could no longer see the outline of the coast on the other side of water. All he could see were the cars moving along Bay Parkway like scurrying insects, trying to escape the rain- sort of how Jonas felt as he walked towards the car, hoping it was unlocked so he could sit in it for the remainder of the party.
The car doors had been locked. He couldn’t remember exactly, but this was probably the product of Jonas’ unremitting responsibility- always cleaning up and locking up. It never failed.
He retreated back to the party when it started to really come down. The short path he was walking up towards the house became muddy and hard to walk through. By the time he had walked up the steps, his shoes were filthy.
He did his best to scuff them on the doormat before entering the house, but he still heard the trademark squeak of his shoes on the wood floorboards.
He tried to avoid what looked from the corner of his eyes to be Rachel and co. still on the couch, and tried to steer clear of the noise that was Sean and found himself in the basement. The smokers were down here, playing pool. Some of the more retreating personalities were making out in the various corners and love seats, hidden behind a veil of darkness and smoke, peppered laughter and stifled talking. The floorboards creaked above them as what sounded like Sean running around the house made its way down to the basement.
Jonas plopped down onto a mushy sofa and picked up dated car and porno magazines and casually flipped through them, not reading the words or looking at the pictures, but trying to get himself interested in something else besides his grief. He recognized some of the guys down here. They recognized him, but no one said anything. It was easier for guys to see when other guys didn’t want to socialize. Jonas didn’t want to talk to them, and they didn’t want to talk to him.
But he really did appreciate Jessy’s attempts to make him feel better. She was so nice to him and understanding of his feelings. He could barely even look at her though after having ditched them on the couch. He hoped the party would end and he could catch a taxi home after everyone he knew had left.
Some people liked to be surrounded by other people when they’re sad. Jonas just wanted to be surrounded by himself. Nothing could prepare him for this kind of grief. He wondered what Savannah was doing- if she was this grief-stricken.
Probably, he thought, but she probably would have tried to talk to another guy. The idea of her talking to another guy sent lightning bolts down his stomach. He suddenly wanted to get up and try calling her again. He looked around for a phone and knew that it would be useless anyway. She hadn’t answered his first thirty calls. He had no reason to think she would answer the next thirty.
The feeling of hopelessness saturated him yet again. It was the only blanket he could tolerate. He had had trouble sleeping the last couple nights- and had amassed probably a total of five hours of real sleep. Thank God for Jessy. She had helped him through some of the toughest moments of the break up- even stayed up with him for three hours while he broke down on the phone. He didn’t know what else to do now besides fall back into the mushy couch.
Something about the warmth of the basement and the smoke mixed into his head like some strange sleeping potion. The next thing he knew, he was opening his eyes to another pair of eyes directly in front of him.
Sean.
Before Jonas had time to defend himself in anyway, he was being drenched in beer sprayed at him by Sean and the guys that had crammed in the backseat of the car with him. Jonas tried to put his hands up to block some of the jets of beer being sprayed at him, but to no avail. It was his own fault, really. Falling asleep at a party is like an invitation to be taken advantage of. But today was not a good day for him at all. While Sean’s antics would normally amuse him, Jonas was in no mood today for shenanigans.
“What the hell are you doing!?” Jonas screamed at him when most of the spraying had ceased. He was dripping wet and smelled disgusting.
“Why, we’re conducting a census my good man!” Sean said, in his fake British accent again. “We’re drenching you in beer, moron! Maybe now you can enjoy the party a little more.”
“How the hell am I gonna enjoy it soaking wet?” Jonas asked, ringing out the bottom of his shirt.
“Hm. Good point.” Sean said, putting his hand to his chin in deep thought. “Well, damage done.” Sean shrugged and turned to leave. His posse left with him, chuckling and walking up the stairs.
Jonas stormed into the bathroom, slammed the door and tried to remove his soaking wet clothes. He turned on the hot water in the tub, dumped some liquid soap into the running water and started to place his clothes under the water to remove some of the beer.
He was really hoping they had a dryer at the house near the bathroom so he could maintain some of his dignity and not have to tramp through the party in nothing but underwear.
Cursing Sean under his breath, he ran his clothes through the water when someone started pounding on the door. He dropped his clothes and slammed himself into the door and secured the handle. If Sean wanted to have some more fun, he wasn’t going to be able to.
“Jonas! It’s me!” I just wanna see if you’re okay!” Jessy yelled through the door.
“Is your brother with you?” Jonas asked, but knew he wasn’t. They could barely stand each other, he knew she wouldn’t be covering for him. He opened the door before she could answer.
The moment he saw her, he realized he was only wearing underwear. He grabbed the nearest towel and wrapped it around his waist as Jessy walked in.
She didn’t even look down at where the small towel was covering him.
“Oh Jonas, I’m so sorry about this.” Jessy said, looking so sad. “My brother is such an idiot!” She said, walking over to the tub and soaking his clothes for him. Jonas sat down on the toilet and watched. He knew she was going to do the rest.
“I swear, if he wasn’t my brother and I didn’t love him so much, I would…” She started, ringing out his shirt and hanging it on top of the shower curtain rod to dry. “Well, I would do something bad. He knows you and Savannah just broke up,”
Jonas’ stomach fell as he heard the words and remembered why he was so miserable, besides being half naked in someone’s basement bathroom.
“He could at least do you the favor of leaving you alone. Honestly, I don’t know what his problem is!” She said, ringing out his jeans and hanging them over the rod next to his shirt.
“Anything else?” She asked, inquiring about his clothes.
“Uhh.. no, I’m good.” Jonas answered sheepishly.
“Okay good.” She grabbed the clothes, still sopping wet, hanging on the curtain rod. “I’m gonna find the dryer and put them in there. I want you to stay here and lock the door until I come back with them. It might be about twenty minutes or so.”
She was just about to leave when Jonas finally mustered out the courage to give her thanks for doing this.
“Jonas, of course! You’re my best friend, and furthermore, you’re going through a lot right now. What kind of person would I be if I didn’t help you?” She smiled, looking radiant and turned to leave.
Jonas grabbed her arm and tried to turn her around, like she did to him before. Before he knew what was going on, he was kissing her.
After a couple seconds, she gently pushed him away.
“Jonas! You’re my friend! We can’t do this!” She said, looking thoroughly embarrassed.
“But I love you Jessy.” He said softly, his lips still parted, her taste still lingering around his mouth like a spray of perfume.
Jessy looked sincere and deeply sympathetic. Two things he didn’t want to see in her face. “You’re just going through a tough time now. You probably would have kissed anyone. I just happened to come in here to help you.”
“I’ve wanted to for so long! You don’t even understand Jessy!” Jonas pleaded, still holding her arm.
“I think you’re just confused.” Jessy said firmly, removing her arm from his grip and walking out the door.
“Jessy wait!” Jonas yelled, halfway out the door when he realized he was still only being concealed by a small towel. He retreated back into the bathroom and slunk onto the toilet. Jonas buried his head into his hands and sighed deeply.
Twenty minutes later a knock came from the other side of the door.
“Someone’s in here!” He said, not removing his face from his hands. This had been about the twelfth knock since Jessy left.
“Jonas it’s me.” Jessy said, in a very much less soft tone than she had before.
He darted up and opened the door to allow her in, but only her hand and Jonas’ dry clothes came through.
Jonas took them and tried to take her hand as well, but she pulled it back before he had the chance.
He put on his clothes in defeated silence. They were dry, but the faint smell of beer hadn’t left them completely. By the time he had made his way upstairs, the party had gone from fun to crazy.
Sean was, of course, the main instigator of this transition. Apparently, since the beer had run out (Jonas probably wasn’t the only one drenched), Sean had improvised and created a pretzel eating contest. Naturally he was both referee and winning, screaming out and laughing as loud as possible.
Jessy was seated on the couch and waved to Jonas politely before returning to her conversation with Rachel, who didn’t turn to look at him at all. Not that Jonas minded one bit about that. Jessy was all he was concerned with. But he knew the rules. Take what you can get at the time, be patient, and don’t be greedy.
As he sat on the porch, inches from the falling rain, he thought about what had just happened. He knew she would come around eventually. No one else was so perfect for him like she was.
It was simply a matter of time.
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